Letting go of "the plan" and doing what feels good might be the best little bit of self-help you can give yourself
I went to a spin class. Oh man, did I ever.
I had put myself together in the morning to head down to yoga. Went in, got my towel and my hot yoga ticket, headed up the stairs to the yoga studio and as I turned the corner my eye caught the silhouette of people on bikes.
I looked over at the yoga studio door. I could see everyone getting their mats out and then saw the instructor. Gah! I wish I could say that I looked her in the eye and marched into the spin class like a badass but that did not happen. I quickly turned my head, avoiding all eye contact and ducked into the spin class. Such guilt! Or was it shame? I have no idea but it seemed completely unreasonable despite it breathing down my neck.
So now, here I am in the middle of room full of experienced spinners. This is a perception anyone might have walking into a new class, that everyone else knows what they're doing but you - which is usually totally false. But....not this time. Nope. I walked in, the instructor asked if anyone there was new and needs help setting up the bike.
I raised my hand, way up. I might as well own this. Me!
For sixty minutes we spun...or spinned? Well, we definitely worked. And sweat. AND I knew when the instructor was talking to me because she would say newbie over the mic, the really loud one - attached to the really loud speakers, to make sure I was paying attention. I'm pretty sure the entire club was aware that I was the new kid in class, not to mention the yoga class ACROSS THE HALL. Shhhhh....I'm an impostor.....I'm here for yoga.
Seriously though, my feeling of anxiety was actually short lived. I freaking loved the class. LOVED it. I soon forgot about where I was supposed to be and just did my thing. My first spin class, it was hard. Feels like starting at square one. But I LIKE that feeling. That feeling of having to work at something completely new. After my legs stopped shaking and sweat stopped pouring.... and the taste of blood left my mouth, I felt really good. I thanked the instructor. She was amazing. I told I will be back. I refrained from using the Arnold voice.
Here's the point.
Never feel bad about trying something new. Try not to fear the unknown. Don't be afraid to take a different path. Follow your gut, your instinct, that voice inside you. One thing I know for sure is that it's never wrong.
It's not like I will never go to yoga again. Of course I will, I practice every morning at home. But I found something new that I love. I will still lift weights, do Zumba, run, TRX and many other things I have either done or want to start doing.
The point is, I showed up.
My true commitment is to live as well as I can. To move every day is a big part of that. Showing up to your commitment, to yourself, doesn't need to be strict or restrictive. Showing up means that it fits within the intention that got you there.